Is Working From Home Making You Less Of A Social Being?

Feels like it’s been months since New Year, but guess what, it is still January! Most of last week, I wondered why the month never ended. Isn't it time already? Seriously, I am happy that it will be gone today. Had it stayed another day, I swear, I would have murdered it myself.

That feels good, now that I've had enough of cursing the month!

The concept of “working from home” for a company is yet to catch up in India; all what people still talk about is freelancing. However, I am among those lucky few who managed to find a real good deal early enough. I have been telecommuting for a company for the past 6 years, enjoying the liberty of moving with my husband yet being financially independent.

A virtual office has its benefits. For a Director of a company, you’ll most often spot me in the least publicly acceptable dress, “pajamas”, for team meetings. I may sip in my ginger tea, quietly chew in sandwich, scan through FB profile, mute mike and yawn or laugh my heart out too during such meetings. Yes nobody notices or bothers; all is well in virtual working environment, as long as you deliver quality work and deliver it on time.

Now, working from home is one thing and managing a virtual team is quite another. Yes, I face this challenge every other day and that’s a whole different story to share. Nevertheless, the other day in an informal chat with my team, we all happened to crib about, brood over just one thing in common – over a period of time our kind tends to lose basic social skills. Yes, we make fewer friends than our in-house counterparts and sort of develop a panic towards real-time public speaking. It is not that in the past 6 years I haven’t faced these problems, but I have also found my way around to deal with it.

Working from home, we are largely confined to the 4 walls and unless a deliberate attempt is made to break free, the need or desire to work extended hours will never end. Until a year back, I used to work even on weekends, mostly during my husband’s deployments and I never felt the need to go out and meet people, because, I had found my comfort zone. But in reality, I was becoming less of a social being. It takes time for this fact to sink in, but, once it does, you will learn to let go and will want to be a part of the larger scene.

Deliberately curtail the need of stretching work hours- Unless absolutely essential, do not work beyond your working hours. Most people think that by working extra they are proving themselves to be worthy, but let me tell you that is not the case. If I can complete a task well within the deadline, so should every other trained member in the team. Not being able to do that is a sign of incompetence or bad time management skills.

What’s more, by working only the assigned hours, you are making time for yourself and your loved ones.  In the past one year after I made this conscious decision to not work extended hours, I got back to creative writing, designing, drawing and painting, photography and experimental cooking – none of which has anything to do with my job profile, but all what I have always wanted to do in my spare time.

With time at your disposal, you venture out and make friends - At this stage of life, unless you are a part of some group, it is hard to widen your network. By sitting and working, and not moving around much, health was another factor that was getting neglected because attending any fitness class or hitting a gym was almost impossible with my work schedule. Although I made several attempts to follow the wellness line, I failed to set up a routine, because of lack of determination and motivation – two things that matter and can come only from a group that understands you. So in the past 6 months, I put in deliberate effort to make friends with a few like-minded people, whom today I call my gang of fitness buddies. Now that I know how great it feels to remain fit, I am out every evening for at least 1-1.5 hours, walking or playing some outdoor games with my friends.

Talking to real people is far more important to improve your soft skills - I realized this when I saw myself fumble in “strangers’ company”. I can give inspiring talks, hold exhaustive training sessions, head resourceful discussions, make impeccable presentations and all that in virtual meetings, but, ask me to do that in front of an audience, I would still do it but would think about it a 100 times and may even encounter nervous breakdown.

So, to improve my soft skills I started volunteering for some of the community activities within the base. I started by managing a library, which helped improve my real-time interpersonal skills. In the bargain, I met and made friends with some wonderful people. During that time, I was also fortunate enough to hold a presentation on social networking for senior citizens, which to this date I am proud of! I moved a step further and offered my help in managing events, which again gave me an opportunity to work with and bring together groups of people from different backgrounds. A lot more opportunities came my way, which again had nothing to do with my professional experience, but I still took those up to challenge myself. The result – today I feel at ease when in the company of absolute strangers and I am much more confident when it comes to public speaking.

Well, the change you want to see will never happen overnight and you can never expect it to, if you do not give it the time. Tips I have shared is from my own experience and others reading this will surely be able to strike a parallel at their end. Discover opportunities, be a part of it, because if you don’t, one day you are going to hate this very virtual set up that you are now proud of!